Attacked with acid, because she said “no”
to marriage
The Ryot U.S. recently published a photo
gallery of Middle Eastern women who suffered
acid attacks at the hands of former suitors
whose marriage proposals they rejected.
These shocking incidents show that there is
still a massive consent-issue when it comes to
women and marriage. Some women choose
not to get married. That is their right and
should thus be respected.
I have a middle-aged aunt who is a gorgeous
and strong woman; and still I would find
myself asking: "But, why isn’t she married?".
That is because everyone else in my family has
already found their soulmate.
For a while I even saw my aunt as kind of
tragic. But the truth, which I later learnt, is
that a few years ago, she was about to get
married.
At the last moment, she called off the wedding
amidst Lobola negotiations; and her fiance
took the news very maturely – even though
this couldn’t have been easy for him.
Now imagine her in the shoes of these women
attacked with acid, deciding not to tie the knot
after all. Backing out, or simply choosing to
remain single. It is chilling to think she would
have been one of the acid burn survivors.
For me, this all boils down to the kind of men
boys have been raised to become. For some
men, they are raised to believe that they are
entitled to have certain things; mainly because
of their gender. This often includes the right to
a wife. If they don’t get what is theirs, they
feel disrespected. Then they hurt people.
In my Christian faith, we believe that a
marriage should reflect Christ’s love for the
church. This means that two people must love
each other and have each other’s best
interests at heart at all times.
A man must love his wife as he would himself.
Which man, who has a healthy love for himself
would pour acid on his own face?
If a man truly loves a woman, just like my
aunt’s former fiancé did, he will respect her
decision not to get married and find happiness
with someone else.
What if those acid burn survivors said "yes"?
To be honest, that question did cross my
mind. Any marriage that is not based on
mutual consent is unlikely to be a happy/
loving marriage. It can be endured, but never
happy.
I could never fathom what it must be like to
choose between being free, yet mutilated; or
stuck in an unhappy marriage without any
external scars.
I commend these women for their courage
and their choice under such harsh
circumstances.
Many commentators on the story rightfully say
that these 'boys' should be brutally punished.
One of them even says that the acid "should
be poured on their genitals."
Will even the most severe punishment, put a
stop to this disgusting practice? After all,
crimes such as domestic violence still exist
despite the strictest laws against it. I say, our
hearts are the drawing board and that is
where we need to go for any hope of change.
Source - Women24
to marriage
The Ryot U.S. recently published a photo
gallery of Middle Eastern women who suffered
acid attacks at the hands of former suitors
whose marriage proposals they rejected.
These shocking incidents show that there is
still a massive consent-issue when it comes to
women and marriage. Some women choose
not to get married. That is their right and
should thus be respected.
I have a middle-aged aunt who is a gorgeous
and strong woman; and still I would find
myself asking: "But, why isn’t she married?".
That is because everyone else in my family has
already found their soulmate.
For a while I even saw my aunt as kind of
tragic. But the truth, which I later learnt, is
that a few years ago, she was about to get
married.
At the last moment, she called off the wedding
amidst Lobola negotiations; and her fiance
took the news very maturely – even though
this couldn’t have been easy for him.
Now imagine her in the shoes of these women
attacked with acid, deciding not to tie the knot
after all. Backing out, or simply choosing to
remain single. It is chilling to think she would
have been one of the acid burn survivors.
For me, this all boils down to the kind of men
boys have been raised to become. For some
men, they are raised to believe that they are
entitled to have certain things; mainly because
of their gender. This often includes the right to
a wife. If they don’t get what is theirs, they
feel disrespected. Then they hurt people.
In my Christian faith, we believe that a
marriage should reflect Christ’s love for the
church. This means that two people must love
each other and have each other’s best
interests at heart at all times.
A man must love his wife as he would himself.
Which man, who has a healthy love for himself
would pour acid on his own face?
If a man truly loves a woman, just like my
aunt’s former fiancé did, he will respect her
decision not to get married and find happiness
with someone else.
What if those acid burn survivors said "yes"?
To be honest, that question did cross my
mind. Any marriage that is not based on
mutual consent is unlikely to be a happy/
loving marriage. It can be endured, but never
happy.
I could never fathom what it must be like to
choose between being free, yet mutilated; or
stuck in an unhappy marriage without any
external scars.
I commend these women for their courage
and their choice under such harsh
circumstances.
Many commentators on the story rightfully say
that these 'boys' should be brutally punished.
One of them even says that the acid "should
be poured on their genitals."
Will even the most severe punishment, put a
stop to this disgusting practice? After all,
crimes such as domestic violence still exist
despite the strictest laws against it. I say, our
hearts are the drawing board and that is
where we need to go for any hope of change.
Source - Women24
